Episode 157: The Back Page Holiday Special 2023

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After a short break, we’re back with a fun (allegedly) holiday special to see out the year – featuring special guests, our favourite Christmas-themed games and the Back Page alternative GOTY awards.

This week’s music is from Bayonetta Origins, Final Fantasy 16, Fable 2 and Bully.

Guest GOTYs

• PowerWash Simulator (Ellie Gibson)
• Baldur’s Gate 3 (Simon Cardy)
• Jusant (Joe Skrebels)
• Spider-Man 2 (Will Porter)
• Goat Simulator 3 (Will Porter’s son)
• Star Wars Jedi: Survivor (Jamie Smith)
• A Back Page drinking game (Simon Parkin)
• Shadow Gambit: The Cursed Crew (Katharine Castle)
• A Space for the Unbound (Lucy Blundell)

Alternative Awards

Best Hang

• Jun Erio from Paranormasight: The Seven Mysteries of Honjo
• Luis from Resident Evil 4 (2023)
• Gav and Sid from Final Fantasy XVI

Worst hang

• All NPCs from Pikmin 4
• Danika from Spider-Man 2

The critics got this wrong

• Fire Emblem Engage
• Cocoon

Most surprsing game

• Hi-Fi Rush
• Exoprimal
• Baldur’s Gate 3

Most spectacular set-piece

• 3 summons at the end of Final Fantasy XVI
• the Titan fight in Final Fantasy XVI
• the massive drill on the desert planet in Star Wars Jedi: Survivor
• portals in Spider-Man 2
• last boss fight in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
• Colgera, the Wind Temple boss in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Best ox-patting

• Coney Island in Spider-Man 2
• Prison in Star Wars Jedi: Survivor

Did this need a remake or remaster?

• Layers of Fear (2023)

What a cool mechanics made just for this game

• Ascend in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
• Pullstring light in Amnesia: The Bunker

Best hub-world / area

• Koboh Observatory in Star Wars Jedi: Survivor
• various areas in Final Fantasy XVI
• the ship in Shadow Gambit: The Cursed Crew

Banger on the soundtrack

• Tomorrow is Mine from Affinity boss fight in Bayonetta Origins: Cereza and the Lost Demon
• On the Shoulders of Giants, the main boss theme in Final Fantasy XVI

Game I played for 10 minutes

• Redfall
• Venba
• Planet of Lana

The good for you award, a game which we’ve chosen not to particpate in

• Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon

Most cursed

• Forspoken
• Gollum

Biggest existential crisis triggered

• Killing myself in Pavlov
• The Weeknd in Beat Saber

Best virtual food

• Sea of Stars

Least satisfying side content

• Final Fantasy XVI
• Addison, aka Sign Guy, from The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Worst discourse

• Mario’s voice
• Don’t expect BG3 from indie studios
• Being owed money for coverage

Not a horny podcast award

• Mean mum from Final Fantasy XVI
• MJ from Spider-Man 2

Most irritating hardware launch

• New colours for the Analogue Pocket

Doordash award

• Doordash during the Game Awards

Festive games

Matthew

• The Dig

1. The Room
2. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
3. Spider-Man: Miles Morales
4. Last Window: The Secret of Cape West
5. Fable II

Samuel

1. Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare
2. The Beatles: Rock Band
3. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II
4. Final Fantasy VII
5. Bully

Lore

• Features a vocal rendition of the Back Page theme tune, a la “Anyone Can Fall in Love” by Anita Dobson.