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Silly awards from silly men, ahead of the real GOTY pod next week. Thanks to this year’s guests, too, for providing insights on their favourite games of 2024.

This week’s music is from the FF7 Rebirth soundtrack by Mitsuto Suzuki and Masashi Hamauzu and the Helldivers 2 soundtrack by Wilbert Roget II.

Simpson Games

Image Credit: RyanPlugs

Simpson Games

Image Credit: RyanPlugs

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Best Hang

  • The little bat guy from Metaphor: ReFantazio, Heismay.
  • Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Yuffie Kisaragi.

Worst Hang

  • Scout Harding from Dragon Age: The Veilguard.
  • Any of the NPCs in Silent Hill 2 remake, but especially Eddie.
  • Randy Newman in Dragon’s Dogma 2.
  • Samuel in Helldivers 2.
  • Samuel’s friend Will in Helldivers 2.
  • Chadley in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
  • Cait Sith in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
  • Red XIII in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.

The Critics Got This Wrong Award

  • Star Wars Outlaws
  • Rise of the Rōnin
  • Thank Goodness You’re Here!
  • Animal Well

The Nintendo Head’s Award for Most Offensive Customers

  • Anyone who bought Alarmo for £90 then claimed it was for their kids

Most Surprising Game of This Year (For Better or Worse)

  • The Last of Us Part II
  • Metaphor: ReFantazio
  • UFO 50

Most Spectacular Set Piece

  • When Metaphor kicks off at the end of the prologue.
  • Indiana Jones, the Himalayas set piece.
  • The last level in Space Marine 2.

Best Bit in a Bad Game

  • The absolutely batshit crazy ultra-violent epilogue to Emio – The Smiling Man.
  • Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League had some really good moments where they sort of sell the power of the Justice League.

Worst Bit in a Great Game

  • The lava level with the duck in Astro Bot.
  • A room full of bugs in Silent Hill 2 Remake’s prison.
  • The final boss of Pepper Grinder.
  • Cait Sith in the Shinra Mansion.

Did This Need A Remake Or Remaster Award

  • Shadows of the Damned
  • Lollipop Chainsaw

What a Cool Mechanic Made Just For This Game Award

  • The XP multiplier combo system in Flintlock: The Siege of Dawn.
  • The slow-mo power in Astro Bot.
  • The dropping in Helldivers 2.

Best Hub World or Area / Level

  • The bathhouse stage in Astro Bot
  • the Call of Duty: Black Ops 6 level Emergence

Best Boss Fight

  • Majima, Saejima and Daigo, Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth

The Hope for the Future Award for Most Banging Tune

  • The extraction music in Helldivers 2.
  • The music in Balatro.
  • Cosmo Canyon battle theme.
  • all the music in Queen’s Blood.
  • the weird Earth song of Gongaga.
  • the regular Cosmo Canyon music.
  • The Costa del Sol music
  • Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears in that particular Beat Saber pack.

A Non-Hitman Game Location That Would Make a Great Hitman Level

  • the mall in Dead Rising Remastered
  • the Vatican in Indiana Jones and the Great Circle

Game I Played For 10 Minutes On Game Pass And No More Than That

  • Dungeons of Hinterberg
  • Kunitsu-Gami: Path of the Goddess

Best Tip We Can Offer To Improve Any One Game

  • Don’t buy the guidebooks at the outset in Indiana Jones
  • At no point do I ever want my attacks cancelled in FF7 Rebirth

Oh My God I Hope No One Walks In While I’m Playing This Award

  • Stellar Blade

The Good For You Award

  • Caves of Qud
  • Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island
  • Solium Infernum

Most Cursed

  • Funko Fusion

Biggest Existential Crisis Trigger

  • the episode where Jay told us about how irrelevant our interests are in the grand scheme of things
  • after episode 200, how do I top this for 300?

Best Balatro card

  • Supernova
  • the baseball player

I’ve Thought Of a New Recipe Award For Best Virtual Food

  • Biscotti and croissants and Indiana Jones
  • the bottles of health drink in Silent Hill 2 Remake

Least Satisfying Side Content

  • Mario & Luigi: Brothership
  • the summons in FF7 Rebirth

Worst Discourse

  • Anything involving Sw__t B_by
  • some of the discussion around Stellar Blade
  • Why isn’t Dragon Age: The Veilguard like old Dragon Age: Origins?

If I Was a Thirsty Overly Online Person, This Is the Character I Would Thirst For Award

  • Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth, Chitose Fujinomiya
  • Scarlett from Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

Game From This Year That Will Make a Great Tv Show or Film

  • The Rise of the Golden Idol
  • Hotel Balatro
  • Still Wakes the Deep

Non-Gaming Media From This Year That Would Make a Great Game

  • Conclave
  • Scavengers Reign
  • X-Men ‘97