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Dear god.

Thanks to Michael ‘BanyaBat’ Butter for the edits!

Video Game Theme Parks
Category 1: Ride where it takes a photo of you at some point
S: The Mount Olympus God-Killer (God of War 3)
M: Pokémon Neck Snap
Category 2: Ride involving water
M: Heavy Rain Splash Mountain
S: Bioshock Log Flume
Category 3: Haunted house
S: Silent Hill 2 Wife Guy Simulator
M: P.T. Corridor of Terror
Category 4: Ride that’s genuinely a danger to your physical health/someone will die on it at some point
M: Life is Strange: Paths Not Taken
S: The Rocket League Ball Cage
Category 5: Ride for small children
S: The Astrobot Teacups
M: Wario’s It’s a Smell World After All
Category 6: Interactive cinema ride/VR ride
M: Augmented Reality Navi
S: Leon - Jack Krauser Knife Fight
Category 7: Tunnel of love-style romantic ride for couples (or throuples, up to you really)
S: Catherine Stray Sheep Katherine Love Tester
M: Final Fantasy VII Ferris Wheel
Category 8: Something involving animatronic puppets
M: Pirates of the Obra Dinn
S: Sonic characters sing the history of the Sonic Franchise
Category 9: Ride that’s out of order every time you visit because it’s so complex it keeps fucking breaking
S: Leviathan Raid from Destiny 2
M: Metal Gear Fulton Extraction
Category 10: Ride that just drops you from high up in the air
M: Assassin’s Creed Unity Glitch Experience
S Assassin’s Creed Leap of Faith
Category 11: Theme park mascot
S: Lu Bu from Dynasty Warriors
M: Tut-mon (Yuji Naka)
Category 12: Piece of music piped through theme park 24/7
M: Wii Shop Music
S: Traverse Town - Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance
Category 13: Parade through park based on video game franchise
S: Dynasty Warriors Parade
M: Mii Parade
Category 14: Live show featuring budget actors and some kind of stunts
M: Death Stranding Show
S: Max Payne 3 Favela Shoot-out
Category 15: Themed hotel (expensive option)
M: Hit-Man Hokkaido Spa
S: Don Corneo’s Mansion
Category 16: Themed hotel (budget option)
S: The Tanker from Metal Gear Solid 2
M: Hotel Dusk
Category 17: Most interesting bit of merch
M: Paranormasight: The Seven Collectable Plushies of Honjo
S: Playable copies of every game featured at the park
Category 18: Most cursed bit of merch
S: Pyramid Head plush
M: Life-sized chocolate effigy of Matthew and a doll of a farting child
Category 19: Themed restaurant
M: Overcooked The Live Dining Experience
S: Cafeteria from Balamb Garden
Category 20: Free pick - anything you want, within the boundaries of Back Page lore
S: Real Life Blitzball Stadium
M: An Audience with Shu Takumi

Results

  • Matthew 63% (25 votes)
  • Samuel 38% (15 votes)
  • (40 votes)